Lyrics I'd rather not hear from my 9-yr-old

A few weeks back when I learned that my child... my child... inspired the church camp spirit cheer to the tune of "I'm Sexy And I Know It," I thought maybe... just maybe... we might exercise a bit more parental censorship over the mp3 playlists.

Of all the things we filter for our kiddos -- TV shows, books, playdates, party themes, etc. -- I have always held the reins more loosely on the music front. I tend to think it's a fairly harmless way to express individuality.  Musical tastes can be intensely personal, even for children.  I already see it in them: Allison gravitates towards the groove of hip-hop while also enjoying top 40 hits with her girlfriends.  Joel chooses Beethoven, classical guitar, and Christmas music sung as lullabyes. I know that when I'm listening to "my" music my mood changes. The drum beat feels as if it's literally coursing through my veins, and an acoustic guitar solo can strum away the day's tension.

I know that as Good Christian Parents we should only allow Jesus Music in the house, sing nightly from a Baptist Hymnal and hum praise music as the little darlings drift off to sleep at night.  The problem is that about 90% of Jesus music sucks.  It's awful, really.  Really. Like, really-bad-country-music sort of awful. I can sometimes appreciate the lyrics and that some God-loving human was moved by the Spirit to lay it all out there in song.  I get it.  I've read the Psalms.  There's some beautiful stuff in there. 

But I bet the tunes those beautiful words were set to were akin to nails on a chalkboard. 

I mean, think of what they had for instruments back then -- a harp and lyre?  No drum kit, bass, electric guitar or keyboard. What the hell is a lyre anyway?  (BTW: I can say "hell" because it's in the Bible - just like "ass." But even though it's a proper noun, I'm not going to capitalize it, because hell is a bad place.  Real bad. And I don't want to inadvertently glorify it with a capital letter.)

At any rate, I'm still pretty liberal with our music allowance, but I have been thinking about it. I've been especially thinking about how some lyrics sound when they come out of a 9-yr-old.  So, I've decided to listen a little more closely and take a mental note of lyrics I'd rather not hear from her sweet little face.  Let's start with these:

Grab somebody sexy, tell 'em, "Hey, give me everything tonight..."

Got no drink in my hand, but I'm wasted. Gettin' drunk off the thought of you naked.

It's a quarter after 1, I'm a little drunk and I need you now

I brushed my teeth with a bottle of Jack

I'll update as I hear more.
I hear Kidz Bop does a good job of converting suggestive lyrics to something less raunchy, but you have to listen to all those stinking kids singing.